Healing

I stopped writing a while ago only to revisit this collection and realized that this anthology of my best work no longer befits my current character nor one's present state of mind. I still have my battles to fight and demons to cast off, but they are much different (and fewer) than before. Truth be told, I'm in the midst of fighting for my heart, one of true masculinity. Before now, my energy came from what was essentially controlled rage, now I'm looking for a new source. A source that is capable of passionate, unwavering, healing love and also the strength to conquer with overwhelming force physically and spiritually (as modeled by the warrior God we serve, the God of Israel). I've come to realize that these two portrayals can never be separate within the heart of men, anything less is folly. There must be a side of a man that will not flinch when raising his weapon against an overwhelming enemy. This is also the side of a man that: wants to be more respected by others than to be loved, to test his strength against what he thinks is more superior than he (a wilderness, a mountain, a burden, his father, or God).

The nuance of manhood is within the heart of every male and only the God of Gideon can raise us to our full potential (by Him living, breathing and encouraging us from within), believe me I've tried other ways. Any other stance leaves a man with the confusing and awkward mix between: macho "strength", weakness/timid softness, emotional vulnerability, perpetual spiritual infancy, and loss of empathy. We were created by God to be: spiritually indestructible masters of war, mentally awake and aware, physically confident in one's strength no matter what amount, last and NEVER least, a heart that is led by God, thus untamed by bondage of any kind (sin, social strata, a job, a church,... controlling women..., etc.).

The moment you take one step in this direction, you will be attacked. Why? Because we've been told by the bible that our human spirits are greater than the angels. That is a force to be reckoned with and the Great Accuser will not let you develop unhindered. A note on accusation, the next time you hear a voice inside your head that says to you anything resembling an insult or a random memory that distresses you, speak sternly "Be gone from me vile spirit". Sounds crazy, what happens next will tell you everything, it will likely leave you for a while, it might intensify (be confident, God does not enjoy those spirits around His children so take it to him). That was just one very small example of a spiritual attack, but if we believe those words of accusation, it will cripple us! James 4 says "Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee you". I'm not saying this will be easy by any stretch of the imagination. For instance in Luke 8, Jesus encounters a man tormented by a legion of demons, even then Christ himself had to try more than once to get them to leave. This description shows us two important things, we who are empowered by God can do that and more, and none of this should not be taken lightly. This is a battle being waged and there are casualties all around us. If we would just look with open eyes, we would see a great many wounded, crippled, and dead souls (fearful, overworked, tired, sterile, passive, or violent souls).

Remember this, God not only wants our hearts to be set free, He's wanting us to be the Spartan Hoplites of our Faith. Professional Warriors who serve a great purpose and only one Master, so that others may truly live. Even still, would you go to any battle alone?