My journey into Orthodoxy has been slow since the last celebration of the resurrection of our Lord (Pascha). Life for me has been joyful much of the time and humbling only part of the time (I am grateful for this ratio because of my spiritual infirmity). My progress has been slow and my arrogance has caused much of my failings as though it were the source of my misery. I have stopped searching for a great many things, one of those is a formal education, money, and another is people who don't want to be found... I'm generally a loyal person and those who do not respond to that cause misunderstandings.
I've been told once that a good way to hear God laugh is to tell Him your plans. I did not expect to be as far way from classes as I have been for the past year and a half, and there are roughly $35,000 worth of reasons why that is the case. College Academics aside, I have learned more profitable knowledge in this past six months than my entire life combined. This knowledge is nothing less than the process of turning theology and most particularly doxology from mere discussion pieces into a lifestyle founded in the fullness of Christ's presence and constant communion with God the Father (Orthodoxy). It's easy to say and I've probably heard dozens of sermons stating that very fact in one form or another in many churches (I'm still kicking myself for being too clouded to hear it). The finer details of a lifestyle in the fullness of Christ lie in the acceptance that you will never arrive at perfection until the final judgment, a humbling fact and not a discouraging one. But the paradox begins when speaking/praying/communing with God means that this single moment, a wisp in the eyes of eternity, contains that which is infinite and is the arrival of the Kingdom of Heaven within your soul (or your soul arriving within The Kingdom, I haven't figured it out and it likely does not matter). But The Kingdom is our life and Doxology is the meaning of life, what more can a created being do, we cannot give The Creator anything but the one place He chooses to limit his power, free will. I digress.
My cultivation is just beginning, and I must always remember the words of the Epistle to the Galatians the list of tools to destroy a Christian, namely believing that I am better than any other person or group. Maybe someday I will be blessed with the comprehension of Love beyond its symptoms and side effects (ie. the 'five love languages', inner warmth and so on). What a miracle that would require!
May our Great God and Savior Jesus Christ have mercy on us all, and grant us a rich entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven
